User:Dance4thedead/guide4thefreak

This is my first first time starting a new page, so please yell at me if I screw something up.

The Survival Guide For the Freakish Inclined
This is starting from season 1, The Screwed Up Humans

1. If your name is Peter, go lay down in a hole. Don't try to "save" *cough destroy NYC* the world.
2. If you collect snowglobes, do not, I repeat, don't offer anyone a tuna sandwich.
3. Don't jump off the oil tower. (It's a bad and extremly messy idea)
4. If your name is Angela, go to the dollar store and buy yourself a mug that says "worst mother of the year on it.
5. Parkman, duh! Turn in the diamonds!
6. Scrach number three, go ahead and kill the cheerleader, the real one.
7. Charlie is dead Hiro! Save Claire, but don't get there in time!
8. Kill Audrey, Parkman. Join the dark side.
9. Someone needs to tell off Kaito.
10. Keep on driving your taxi Mohinder.
11. Where'd Claude go?
12. Stop going torwards NYC!!!
13. Trust HRG. No wait, don't trust HRG. Trust HRG. No, wait...
14. D.L., why did you have to take the bullet? It could have hit Jessica, or Tracy, or strange other blond lady that look exactly like your wife.
15. Nathan you're a doushbag. Period.

Season 2, The Screwed Up Human's Families

1. Don't trust Adam.
2. Dump the girl who likes cherry trees.
3. If one of your supposed parents work at a paper company, was into politics, or runs a Japaniese company, chances are your family is gonna get shaken up.
4. You really don't want to make Maya cry.
5. Don't touch the shiny metal door.
6. Nathan, duck and cover because in about twenty seconds from saving your brother from unleashing a deadly virus, he's gonna shoot you. Like twice.

Season 3, Picacho vs. Nemesis

1. Eclipes=Bad. Lock yourself in a closet with a plastic container of cold oatmeal and a dull spoon.
2. Run away screaming from anyone that tries to hug you if your name is Peter or if you are a germaphobe with a very low immune system.
3. Happy birthday! Sylar's gonna pop into your office and slice your head open! Cake?
4. Sylar, HRG, and a boxcutter do not mix.
5. Sylar, Peter, and windows do not mix.
6. Sylar, Claire, and brain touching do not mix.
7. In the Heroes world, if you run really fast, you can go back in time! (but wait, how do get back to your own time?)
8. Do not open the safe.
9. Mohinder, you were always meant to be the geek of the show. So please, don't go Peter Parker on us.

Season 4

1. Don't get me started.